Monday, April 24, 2017

Alone Tonight



May the night be kind to me as I will spend the night alone.
Most of the time being alone means loneliness and fear.  I have been through many nights alone and lonely and I think I am on the road of getting used to it.  
When I am going through difficult times, I cannot easily share what I am going through with anybody and that consumes me and lonliness sets in.  I prefer to be silent to avoid arguments and misunderstandings and further hurt relationships. I have committed that mistake several times in the past and they were very painful. I do not want to hurt the people I love.  
I have learn to entrust to God for everything I cannot do. I entrust to Him all my loved ones.  I know He will restore all broken relationships and further strengthen whatever we have.  I have taken the apostolate to build relationships by simply being me, by my simple presence and little kindness to help them get through the day.
However, if I cannot reach them physically because of distance,  was pushed away or I am no longer part of their lives, my prayers will forever take care of them.  Being alone gives me more time to pray for everybody.  It gives me the freedom to love more beyond distance and learning not to expect love in return because in my deepest loneliness there is somebody who never left me and will never leave me. . . my God who is the source of all love. Because of His love that sustains me, I am sharing His love to everybody.  
Tonight, I am alone. Shiela and Yna are spending the night in a resort for a night swimming. My blood pressure is just starting to stabilize but I know my God will watch over me and the night will be kind to me. I am starting to befriend and enjoying the company of myself.  See, I am getting comfortable being alone.
Yes, I am alone but deeply in love.

Tuesday, March 7, 2017

Am I for Death Penalty?

Every morning after I have said my praises and thanksgiving to God, sent my hugs and kisses through prayers to my love ones, I open my radio and tune in to dzbb for the early morning news then check on my fb while sipping an aromatic mug of coffee.  This routine is so splendid and I love doing it while imagining sitting in a porch and breathing the fresh flower scent of the morning.

But these past few days my mornings are no longer as splendid as it used to be though I still do the same thing.  My quiet refreshing mornings are now disturb by the everyday news about drugs, extra judicial killings and death penalty.  I hear and read opinions here and there. Some friends in facebook are posting their indignation on death penalty or if one will do a fishbone scrutiny it points out not only about war on drugs but of President Duterte.

I can't help give my own reflective opinion. 
Like any other Christian, I believe we have to value and respect human life. Right to life is a moral principle based on the right of every human being to live and should not be killed by another human being.  Death penalty or any form of extra judicial killings therefore are violation of right to life however, others say that death penalty is not a violation of right to life because right to life should be done in respect to a sense of justice.

What am I to say about this? Am I with the Catholic Church and the Commission on Human Right (CHR) who keep on voicing and criticizing President Duterte on his war on drugs that is resulting to 7,000 deaths?

I am caught in between.  While I respect the right to life of every human being, I abhor drugs and any form of crimes resulting from drug abuse and proliferation.  I am speaking from the point of view of a niece whose beloved uncle was killed by a drug addict who ran amok in a bus terminal. I couldn't explain the pain our family felt during that time.  My siblings and I loved Tito Cesar so much, not because he was a good perfect man but because we grew up with him. We have shared many happy moments together and knowing he was stabbed by a drug addict and was left lying on the street was so devastating. When I saw him inside the coffin, I fainted and I could not bear the sight What is more painful was he died alone without us by his side to hold his hands. News about it reached us two days after the incident happened.  My brothers went to the funeral home to claim his body and saw him just lying on the floor. Our hearts were filled with so much anger that to see the assailant dead was not enough.  This happened many years ago but pain is still in our hearts. 

Today, we heard so many stories of the families of those drug addicts and pushers who were killed either by a legal police operations or by the so called extra judicial killings and our hearts melt knowing they have suffered so much pain of losing their loved ones. Human rights advocates and some religious groups have thrown their anger to the present government who is very serious on the war against drugs. But have they thought about the families of the victims, families who are now dysfunctional because their parents are into drugs, the pain of the parents seeing their children losing a bright future because of drugs. Have they experienced living in a community where drugs are just an ordinary thing?  Drug pushers when caught can easily get out of jail because their bosses can bribe the authorities. This community is where my uncle was killed. 

The gangs were killing each other long before Duterte became president.  They were all in the streets and not afraid of being caught.  The good and straight are the ones in hiding to avoid them. When Duterte won the election, people who are involved in drugs started to go into hiding and yes killings among them are now more often.  Authorities who are also of their kind are now liquidating their own people.

What would you think the residents of that community feel now?  The people are now somehow relieved.  If somebody is killed a sigh of relief is heard.  I am not saying that killing is good but when a community is being abused by these heartless people, a heartless response is also expected.

These are the people who voted for Duterte who  promised to eradicate drugs.  The president  is just few months in office. He inherited the big problem on drugs from the Aquino government who did nothing about it.  Had they worked on to solve the problem instead of letting it proliferate, maybe Mr Duterte did not win the election. The church was not as vocal as now during the time of the Aquinos. 

Will death penalty send shiver to the spine of these criminals? Maybe yes, maybe no and even if they are put into death, their lives are not enough to pay for the many lives they have ruined. 

Am I for death penalty? NO, I am not for death penalty because it is not enough. It cannot replace the lives that were lost. It will only hurt more families.  Anger and pain will fill the hearts of many Filipinos.

If the administration will stop their war against drugs and death penalty will not be passed in congress, what will happen to us now as a nation?  Are we going back to the time of the Aquinos, watch as our country deteriorates?  It will be a challenge to us who are giving these criminals the right to life.  I only hope and pray that  catholic church and all human rights advocates will go beyond criticizing the government but to put all efforts together  to help each family heal from anger and pain. Family, as a basic unit of a society should  be strengthened with values and love of God.

Well, I hope after giving my views on the issue, I can now breathe and feel the morning breeze again while sipping my brewed coffee.